Blame It On the Pr-eh-eh-eh-eh-ednisone!

So, just what am I blaming on Prednisone?

Well…so many things!

But I will only mention a few and to start with, these:

Predinose cheeks

See it?

See THEM?

They’re my newly formed chipmunk cheeks and the Hunchback of Notre Dame hump on the back of my neck that I’ve got going on.

Where did they come from?

Well, those lovely additions would be the result of my being on Prednisone, a steroid, for the past 7 years.

You see, Prednisone squashes your immune system in such a way that when my chronic inflammatory disease is flaring, to simply take an extra 2.5 milligrams or more reduces swelling and gives me some blessed pain relief. However, living on Prednisone is a double-edged sword and its side effects are nothing to sneeze at!

If you take a glance at the long list of things that it can do to your body, you’d no doubt wonder why it’s prescribed even at all! But as one of my mother’s rheumatologists told her many years ago, “There’s just nothing else out there like it.”

My journey with steroids began when my rheumatologist prescribed Prednisone for me on a two-week trial basis to see how I would respond to it and, boy, did I respond! I felt so much better after the first few doses that I called up my boss/friend and told her I was coming back to work.

My legs no longer felt as if I were dragging extremely obese children from each limb and I could walk with my head held high on shoulders pushed back – a stance I hadn’t been able to attain in months!

I loved Prednisone!

When the trial was over, my rheumatologist had the information that she needed: my body responded positively to steroids, indicating that I had an auto-immune inflammatory condition.

I have been on steroids ever since and I have personally exhibited the following side-effects that I blame on the Pr-eh-eh-eh-eh-ednisone:

Heightened Aggression

I don’t back down easily in a discussion, heated debate or argument anymore.

It’s like my cut-off switch has been disabled and the fail-safe mechanism that would signal for me to shut up, is no longer operational. As a result, this creates some pretty “interesting” discussions between my mother and me, since she is usually the only other person in the room.

“No, Falanya, I did NOT say that.”

“Yes, you DID!” is my excited reply.

“I’m not crazy, Mom! You said Barney was GRAPE colored!”

“I did not and I will not continue this conversation with you,” she replies.

“He’s purple, Mom. PURPLE!!” I almost scream. But not too loud, because although I might be under the influence of steroids, I’m no dummy. That woman, even while laid up sick in her bed with Lupus, will still manage to slap the fluffiness right out of my chipmunk cheeks with lightning speed.

Gnawing Hunger

Have you ever felt your stomach writhe and cramp in pain as a result of hunger?

Now, let me ask you, have you ever felt this gnawing sensation in your gut with the presence of food?

Let’s say you have just eaten a full course meal with an appetizer and full dessert included. How do you usually feel? I’m willing to wager that you can barely breathe let alone still be hungry, am I right?

Enter Prednisone.

Not only are you still hungry but you are ravenously hungry and like a caveman you scavenge through the refrigerator for a small wildebeest to devour.

I may exaggerate a little, but I lie to you not!

Weird Fat Placement

This side effect goes hand in hand with the gnawing hunger. When you eat like an insatiable animal, sleep hours on end like you’re the King of the forest, you will gain a fat pocket or two and in some less than desirable places.

My cheeks have puffed up a little but I don’t have the distinctive moon face that so many steroid users exhibit (unless I am in some serious denial here) but I do exhibit the Hunchback of Notre Dame’s hump at the base of my neck and across my shoulders.

Mom has had this hump for years due to being on Prednisone for 20+ years, and I used to love petting it and teasing her about it because the glances she shot me were priceless and I’d just laugh and laugh and laugh.

And apparently, little boys and girls, if you laugh at someone else’s deformity, the same deformity will be likely bestowed upon you and having my own hump isn’t anywhere near as funny as it was to tease my mother about hers.

There are so many other serious side effects that Prednisone is responsible for (Osteoporosis, diabetes, glaucoma, depression, high blood pressure, excessive sweating, sleeplessness, etc.) but as you can see, it can be a wonderful blessing and at the same time a horrid curse.

For the moment, as new and weird side effects continue to pop up causing me to become more of a freak of nature, I won’t blame it on the Goose, blame it on the Vodka, blame it on the Henney or blame it on the ‘Tron.

I will look at my pill case and blame it on the Prednisone.

So, as if blogging about my life lived on Prednisone wasn’t enough, I got the crazy idea to re-work the lyrics to Jamie Fox’s song Blame It On The Alcohol and create my own version called Blame It On The Prednisone.

I like to find the funny side of the loopy life I’m currently living to keep myself smiling and hopefully bring a smile to the faces of those who can relate and maybe educate those who cannot.

I hope you enjoy this video as much as I enjoyed putting it together!

~Today is a Gift that I Choose to Live Thankfully~

FalanyaPictureMy name is Falanya and my blog chronicles the life I’m living right now. Lupus sufferers commonly refer to themselves as “Lupies” and, interestingly enough, this painfully crazy disease can provide some pretty loopy moments. It’s those moments that can lend a little laughter to an otherwise unfunny existence.

A Lupie Existence (Falanya’s blog)
 A Lupie Existence on Facebook
Email: aLupieExistence@gmail.com

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2 thoughts on “Blame It On the Pr-eh-eh-eh-eh-ednisone!

  1. Lene says:

    Love this! And now that song is going to be in my head for the rest of the day.

    Thanks for starting my day with a smile. And for facing what you have to face with a sense of humour.

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